Self improvement improves relationships

Repairing damage in relationships and the difference between sorry and amends

Image by Hier und jetzt endet leider meine Reise auf Pixabay aber from Pixabay

You have all heard the sayings that go something like this…

“When trust is broken, sorry means nothing.”

The list goes on, but the basic theme is that sorry means nothing without repair.

People tell you to stuff your sorries in a sack because they don’t fix anything. And they don’t want you to be sorry, they want you to fix it. Sometimes reasonably, sometimes not.

We all get sick and tired of sorries when they are oversupplied and not followed by action. This is why many people equally love sayings like,

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Or,

“Love is…


America’s diverse multicultural society

Segregation in a modern society fueled by anti-racism — I will not silence myself because of my skin color

Photo by Shane Rounce on Unsplash

Writing this title, ‘A Colorless White World’, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. With a title like this, I may generate immediate disgust by some readers. A colorless world doesn’t sound good. And as a white person, I cannot talk about anything societal in my world that is ‘not good’ because of my ‘white privilege’.

Implying that I suffer from anything — especially related to race — or that anything is being forced upon me will surely be followed up by accusations of my white privilege, entitlement and ingratitude.

Who am I, a white woman…


The end — how demands of complete abstinence and the shame around all substance lead to relapse and death end

image by dissx

When Jillian awakened, she felt refreshed. As she looked around her room and calculated where she was, she remembered the night before.

Heading to get her coffee started, she watched the moments rise through her mental fog, to the surface. Then, she saw it — the joint.

Processing this, she assessed its reality.

She had six months clean after years of heroin addiction. Dreams of getting high were common and she would often wake up wondering if they really happened. But this felt different.

By the time she finished her morning routine, she knew. It did happen. …


Construction and destruction — constructively dealing with people bent on destruction

Photo by Robin Kumar Biswal from Pexels

Have you ever met that person who seems to swing around like a wrecking ball?

The ones going around laying their claws into anything and everything in hopes of mass destruction?

I know you have met that person. You may even be them.

Regardless of whether you are a constructive or destructive person — because the choice is yours — it is valuable to be aware that we are all constructing and destructing all the time.

No-one creates one hundred percent of the time, and there is always a time and place for destruction.

Everything built must, someday, be torn…


Uncertain Death and Impending Doom

A glance into a day in the life of those who have survived

Photo by Rene Asmussen from Pexels

Have you ever thought you were going to die?

And I don’t mean the everyday fear of death that all humans experience.

I mean, have you ever faced sudden possible death? Have you ever thought, at any moment, that you may die before the next? Has dying ever been that close to you? Has it ever been that real?

Maybe there was a fire and you barely got out in time. Or maybe, you got T-boned at an intersection and as that car slammed into you in slow motion, your life flashed before your eyes. Some people have drowned and…


A love poem

Credit:Nastco

If you love me, love me for no reason.
Love me without explanation and with no conditions.
Love me the way I am, without expectations.

Allow me to just be…Me…
I hope you see, I allow you to be…You…

There’s nothing to show me, nothing to prove.
The only thing that matters is that you’re ok with you.
This is the melody that I am moving towards, the type of thing that makes it worth the pain that we’ve endured.

Don’t love me for attention.
Don’t love me for one more. …


If we wish to be free from our collective human ropes, we must stop tying up our fellows

Image by Comfreak from Pixabay

There is an old tale that you may have heard about an elephant and a rope.

The Elephant and the Rope

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. …


You cannot place conditions on unconditional love

Credit:Natalija Grigel

We all want a love that lasts forever.

Right? I know that is what I always wanted.

I wanted a forever love that could withstand all conditions. I wanted a loyal and undying love — a love that was true when nothing else was. I wanted a love that would journey over mountains and across oceans to find its way — a love that stretched beyond eternity.

For a long time, I thought I had not found that love. Because people that I loved left, and I left people that I loved. I thought their leaving meant that they didn’t…


A guide on some basics for the new Medium writer — curation, publications, MPP status and more

Image by Manfred Steger from Pixabay

First off, I will let you know that I am not going to try to sell you anything. This article does not lead to some supposedly promising course that I will ask you to pay for. I will never sell courses on writing and this article will not lead you to needing some product or service of mine.

Anyone who belongs to a Medium fb group knows that there are new people coming around daily with no idea what to do first on Medium.

What is curation? What does it mean?

What publications are good for new writers?

How do…


Addiction and Recovery

A relapse fable and an encouraging note for all relapsers

Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash

Imagine that it is a cold and icy winter day. School is out and most cars are off the road. This is your third day in the house, and you are getting a little cabin feverish.

You received a note yesterday stating that you have a package at the post office that must be picked up ASAP. It is likely from your Granny and may be filled with her famous and decadent peanut butter fudge.

The sidewalks are shoveled, and the post office is only two blocks away. So you put on your gear and head out.

You know it…

Holly Kellums

Author * Social Media Influencer * Recovery Coach * Human Potential Activist

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