Destructive Criticism | Arguing With Your Haters Online is a Waste of Time
Successful people do not waste their time arguing with naysayers — arguing with destructive people is not constructive
When I was small, all the kids in our small town wanted to go to my Granny’s house on Halloween. It was everyone’s favorite stop, and they would talk about it for weeks before the holiday.
Children would even ask me to take a sneak-peek at the plethora of candy she would stack up for months leading up to the big day.
Everyone in America gives out candy on Halloween, right? Except for the grinches with their porch lights off, of course.
My Granny, though, she did Halloween like a fall Angel.
She gave out full-sized candy bars, not minis — along with the candy bar-sized taffies and whatever other cool things she found. And if you were a friend of the family, you would get invited in for even more October goodness.
The kitchen island would be covered in wax paper with freshly dipped caramel apples drying — the hot caramel bubbling perfectly on the stove.
As you bit into the caramel apple, the outside layer of caramel would be cooled while the inner layer was still warm and gooey. It was perfection — like having Halloween heaven in your mouth.
Glass dishes of candy corns, baby pumpkins, caramel popcorn, her famous peanut butter fudge, and the black and orange peanut butter taffies filled the table.
Of course, I had no clue how lucky I was then. But I did notice one thing that Granny would say every year.
At least one child would look at her with innocent eyes and say, “Wow, are you rich?”
Every time, she would laugh and say the same thing.
“No, sweetie, the rich people are giving out dum dum suckers, and that’s why they’re rich!”
Those who climb the latter to success do not waste time on haters
The concept of the dum-dum suckers is debatable, and its truth is circumstantial.
However, the principle beautifully demonstrates why successful people don’t have time to argue with their haters while climbing the ladder of success.
There is a reason why very few people find the level of success they dream of. Well, there are many reasons. But what paralyzes most people is fragmentation — due to wasting energy in places that add no value to their work and life.
To righteously achieve an above-average level of self-made success, you must treat your energy like the valuable currency it is. Money is but a placeholder.
Those who have climbed the ladder to success did not spend time arguing with their haters and doubters lest they be pulled down a wrung. They understand the concept of crabs in a bucket and how it applies to human nature.
Energy is currency, and successful people spend it accordingly
Going back to the adage,
“Time is money.”
We say time, but we are referencing what we could do with that time — what we could do with our energy. The saying is true because that’s all money really is — energy. The paper and metals are just symbols.
Like some rich people are rich because of their financial frugality, most self-made successes are rich because of their energetic frugality.
This principle is why people who win the lottery go broke and often face heavier life challenges than before. Giving someone money doesn’t make them successful.
People who receive large sums of money are still, with the money, who they were before the money. And the ripe or rotten fruits of their life — following sudden unearned riches — demonstrate that.
Just like squeezing people brings out what’s inside of them, so does money.
You have heard the saying,
“Money is the root of all evil.”
It makes sense to believe that money is the root of evil because fortune has fueled the evil inside of many people. But it was never the money that was evil. The evil was already there. The money just brings out what’s inside.
Successful people spend their energy like the golden and unlimited currency that it is. If they spent time arguing with their haters and stalkers, they would never get enough done to achieve success.
Your energy is your life force, and your life force is valuable beyond measure. The way you spend your energy will determine your success. Even if you win the lottery, you will spend your energy the way you did before. Which will result in the same level of success that you already had.
Success is not a result of monetary riches, although successful people tend to have more money.
Just like you get what you pay for with cash, you get what you pay for with your energy — this unlimited and renewable currency that you hold within.
If you spend your cash at Walmart on an office chair, you will get a Walmart chair. If you shop at Vitra, you will get a Vitra chair.
Your energetic currency is the same. Where you spend it determines the products and results you receive.
Branding on negativity and notable exceptions
If you have read my work before, you know that I focus inherently on the paradox of life and the two sides to every coin. That doesn’t stop at the traits of successful people.
One of the most common misconceptions of the human condition is the belief that two opposing things cannot be true, at the same time. When in reality, every truth has a juxtaposed truth that is also true — simultaneously.
Life is a great contradiction, and everything is both true and false — without appropriate context.
There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all argument and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance. This principle is contempt prior to examination. — Herbert Spencer
A handful of successful people argue with their haters. Some spend large amounts of energy engaging with their stalkers.
Some, like 6ix9ine, even built their entire career on being a troll. That is his brand. If that was his dream, then good for him. But for most of us, our vision of success is not being famous for being a cringy, trolling hater.
A handful of famous people are known for their responses to some unconstructive criticism — bullying that they did respond to. Many of them used their existing fame to speak out around societal issues, while others made hilarious viral tweets.
Careers, like MGK’s, were catapulted by the attention drawn from haters with large audiences.
Of the notable exceptions, all but 6ix9ine and like-minded creators were already successful. And most of these exceptions made one comment or post and moved on — using little to no energy at all.
They weren’t responding to all their doubters — having explanation conversations — while they were climbing the ladder to success.
If you taste even a drop of large-scale success in the public eye, there will be far too many negative comments to respond to and far too many doubters to convince. The only thing that matters then is that your actions and what you create for the world speak louder than their words.
There are times when discord and disagreement can create exposure. We all know — if we have paid attention — content that brings out divisiveness in people performs well on social media. But that evidence is circumstantial and does not apply to how successful people live — especially on their way to success.
If you don’t like what life is offering you in the way of success and purpose, consider where you are spending your energetic currency. Your level of success is not a fluke. You are not unlucky or riddled by fate. You are simply getting what you paid for. You can’t buy high-quality goods from cheap stores, and you can’t use your energy to purchase success shopping with unsuccessful people in unsuccessful places.
If you are content with life’s offerings but still have unrealized dreams, perhaps tapering down on the drama or escapism you purchase with your energy will make space for those dreams.
Treat your energy like the limitlessly valuable currency that it is. Take as much of it as you can and spend it in fruitful places, around successful people. Refine your processes and habits to get the best bang for your buck. Develop strategies to spend your energy in ways that will benefit you in different areas and future times.
When you spend your energy, be mindful of how, where and with who. Spend it in places and ways that allow your life force to reach its maximum potential. If you take this on as a practice, with honor and integrity, you will be victorious.
Written by Holly Kellums
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