Don’t Mistake Boundaries for Rejection

Boundaries are not personal, are not a form of rejection, and are definitely not negotiable

Holly Kellums

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Self-improvement starts with personal inquiry, and if you have made a practice of honestly looking at yourself, you have had your run-in with boundaries.

Even if you have never knowingly struggled with boundaries, you have engaged with people who do. Some people struggle to set and keep boundaries, while others do not respect the boundaries of others. In any case, if you dive beneath the surface, you will find the fear of rejection at the root of these common and debilitating character challenges.

Whether you wish to practice setting boundaries or not taking the boundaries of others personally, it begins with an understanding. Boundaries are not personal, are not a form of rejection, and are definitely not negotiable.

Fear of abandonment

It is no secret that many humans suffer from — or have at some point suffered from — a deep and innate fear of abandonment. We can find many reasons for these fears in ourselves and our stories. But, in the end, there is no method to this form of human madness.

I experienced multiple severe abandonments in my youth, including what may be the most traumatic…

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