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You Cannot Treat People Like Shit and Expect them to Love or Respect You
You can’t treat people like shit and expect them to love you. You can’t be mean to people and ask for their respect.
It is perfectly okay to be direct and decisive. You can set whatever boundaries are best for you. But, you do not have to talk down to people or intentionally hurt their feelings in order to do this.
Sometimes, people just take things personally. Sometimes boundaries feel like rejection and simply being firm in yours can cause someone to feel hurt. These are the times when you cannot take on responsibility for other people’s reaction to life. In these moments, you may have to remind yourself that people see from their world view. Their perceptions are filled with all their fears, insecurities, guilt, projections and wounds.
Do not use this as an excuse to treat people like shit. Even if you have no conscience or concern for the well-being of others, it’s just not smart.
You cannot treat people poorly and expect them to love or respect you. If you feel the need to make others feel small in order to feel better about yourself, you are not okay. If you think talking down to people or talking to them like they’re stupid gives you some kind of control, you are dead wrong. And even though you may think you look smart or cool, you don’t. Trust me, people do not see abusing others as strength.
“If you have to hurt other people in order to feel powerful, you are an extremely weak individual.”
There is a difference between high standards and harsh judgments. You can want the best without looking for the worst. You can seek improvement without creating dissatisfaction. You can move upward without stepping on someone else to get there. You can ask for more without labeling what is as being not enough. Talk. Listen. Be open and honest. People will often rise to meet you, if given the opportunity.
Written by Holly Kellums
